Today, I returned from the most incredible weekend, spent with women who love Christ. I don't use incredible loosely here. It was that good. I built relationships with women who serve and love our Father. We were away from the busyness of our lives where we just prayed and worshipped for 3 days. The second I walked back through our flat door I was reminded of how much our world is broken. The second I open my computer I am reminded of the brokenness of human beings hearts. And once again, as I try to take a shower, I am reminded that our water heater is broken. Reality. Brokenness. Oh how my heart is hurting and longing for Him to bust out of the sky and remove it all.
I was asked to talk at the women's retreat, and we focused on being an ordinary clay pot, whose treasure pours out of us. 2 corinth. 4:7. “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us”.
While preparing, I was faced with just how broken and busted up this clay pot is. I found that I was beginning to become prideful and boastful of working with my Sudanese kiddos. I had to step out of the school for a couple of weeks for the Lord to bring me back down. Why? Because my apathy had been revealed. I cared more about my refugees hearts than those who are lost. One does not deserve the Kingdom over the other. We are all in desperate need of a savior. This is how it all begins. My human sinfulness asking and getting a smidgen of the glory of His works, and God breaking me down. It is now a continuous pattern. I wrestle with him and struggle with one particular thing, weeks, maybe months later I feel His glory and my understanding mold together, only for Him to reveal some other piece of brokenness about myself and then we wrestle all over again.
The most beautiful aspect about God and the thing I treasure most about Him right now is that in His sovereignty, he never leaves me to do something on my own, because I would fail at doing anything on my own, and on top of that try to take some of the glory! The reason that Paul uses the analogy of a clay pot is because in his lifetime a clay pot was used to store food, water and other goods. But they were not durable and would crack and break easily. But with a little water, they (we) are moldable. These past 9 months I have come to a deep understanding of how badly I want to be the pot, because we just discovered I can’t do anything on my own. That doesn’t mean I don’t hear Paul in my ear saying, “who’s the pot to question the Potter?” Oh, believe me I question Him! But after we wrestle and I beg Him to break my heart all over again, I fall to my knees and thank Him for molding me into the image of His son, because I would fail at molding my self. This is why the passage says we have this treasure in a jar of clay, not in a beautiful glass vase. Because the beautiful glass vase would take away from the treasure that is inside of it!
I so badly want to work with the poor and oppressed, but God is saying no, not until you show that same grief for those who are spiritually dead, poor and oppressed. He is molding me, his jar of clay. There is no better news in this world than the gospel. And obedience to God’s calling will be painful and difficult, it already has been. The end of the verse says we will be afflicted in every way, but not crushed. Struck down, but not destroyed. And this is what draws us nearer and nearer to Christ. John Piper says “God purposely permits the clay pots to be struck down so that He can exhibit His supernatural power in the situation.” This truth sets me free from my own brokenness and of this world. Without Christ, nothing would ever be reconciled. Jesus is enough to cover all our brokenness.
With that said, watch this video of what satan does in our lives.
On a lighter note, picture of the day from Cairo. Please, no barking.
